


We Three Kings

by A_M_Kelley



Series: Happy Holidays, You Bastards! [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Double Penetration, Drinking, Drunk!Steve, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingerfucking, M/M, Multi, Rough Sex, Sibling Incest, Singing, Steve is the king of New York, This Is STUPID, Threesome -M/M/M, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas in Asgard and Loki somehow managed to convince everyone that Steve is the king of New York so he could be here. The Warriors Three and Lady Sif are unimpressed and demand that Steve prove himself worthy of attending an Asgardian Christmas.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>**!!Merry Christmas!!**</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	We Three Kings

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was young and stupid and terrible at writing. Please don't hate me.
> 
> So this mostly ignores basic canon rules, such as:
> 
> Steve not being able to get drunk and Loki being the villain and basically the whole plot of The Avengers (among other things I may have ignored). I don't know Asgardian Christmas traditions so I'm mostly bullshitting and making up my own.

Steve should be mad at Loki for spreading tall tales about him just so he could be here in Asgard but how can he? He's in Asgard for crying out loud! Not many people get this opportunity everyday, so Steve keeps his mouth shut and lets Loki do all the talking and if there are any doubters, Thor backs up the lies as well. Though, Steve can't quite understand why Thor would lie for him. Steve was sure Thor would be furious with his brother. But he wasn't.

It troubled Steve slightly, knowing Thor was lying, because Thor never did anything like that and he was the most honest person Steve knew. Thor didn't like playing along with Loki's tricks so it left Steve to wonder why he was doing it now but the more pressing matter was what trick Loki was pulling this time. It was clear that it had to do with himself and his being here but Steve wasn't exactly given the details.

He figured Loki didn't trust him with the secret he had going with Thor and it left Steve feeling a sting of sadness prickling at the back of his pride. Loki was, after all, his boyfriend and they told eachother everything but Steve understood that some things were left for Loki and Loki only. But this... this was torture and inhumane and Steve deserved to know what Loki was plotting with his brother.

There were whispers and devious smiles and they seemed to echo around the big dining hall they were currently seated in. It was dead quiet with the exception of murmurs until Thor's friends burst through the big wooden doors, cheering in glee at the sight of the golden haired Asgardian. Thor left the conversation him and Loki had been engrossed in to stride over to them, bear hugging each one in turn with a wide grin.

They exchanged a few words amongst themselves and laughed merrily as if they haven't in such a long time, clapping eachother on the backs before they made it over to the giant dining table. Steve stood up from his heavy chair to greet them properly, making sure to be polite and charming like he always was but when he stuck his hand out the woman and three men stared at it as if it were radioactive. They stared Steve up and down with judgment in their eyes.

Steve's heart sank a little and he let his arm fall back to his side when none of them took it. It wasn't a good start and it certainly felt embarrassing to have his greeting rejected by some of the most legendary warriors this side of Asgard had to offer. Steve suddenly felt like an outsider, like he wasn't good enough to be in the presence of the house of Odin, and if Thor's friends didn't like him then he was done for. It was a barrier Steve had to pass through.

"You must be the mortal Loki has told us so much about," Sif said flatly as if bored of the conversation already.

"Uh, yeah," Steve answered hesitantly, sparing a look over at Loki who was still seated at the table. "My name is Steve Rogers."

"The king of New York," Sif continued, accentuating the word king with such mockery that it resembled sarcasm.

Steve furrowed his brows intensely, puzzling at Sif's statement because it was posed as such. It wasn't a question and Steve wondered where she had gotten such an idea but then he knew better. It all made sense now, why Loki and Thor had been whispering to themselves, because Steve was being mistaken for a king and it seemed since he was just a mere mortal that being ordinary wasn't enough to get a free ticket to Asgard.

Loki had lied to them so he could be here with him.

"He doesn't look very kingly to me," Fandral remarked dryly, giving Steve a once over.

And Fandral was right. Steve didn't look like royalty nor was he rich but he certainly dressed nice for special occasions such as this one because Christmas only came once a year. But despite being dressed nicely Steve looked awfully out of place compared to the Asgardians and this was their turf. Steve was far from his comfort zone and he was suddenly wishing he could be back in Brooklyn, just him and Loki and hot chocolate. But this was the only thing Loki had asked for Christmas. Steve just couldn't refuse his request.

Besides, he had never been to another galaxy before.

"My friends," Thor bolstered happily, "mortal customs are different from our own. Though he may appear to be ordinary, he's quite well-versed in his world."

Steve's eyes flicked over all of their faces, seeing them go through hoops of consideration and seeming to come to a mutual agreement that went unsaid. The Warriors Three and Sif looked at eachother with speculation but found it pointless to press the matter anymore than it had to be. Loki's word was one thing but if Thor said Steve was a king then he was a king. They had no choice but to believe Thor's words.

"Well then," Volstagg started with a hopeful smile. "Allow me to introduce ourselves. I'm Volstagg and these two are Fandral and Hogun," Volstagg introduced, pointing to each man as he acknowledged them, "but feel free to call us the Warriors Three and this is--"

"Lady Sif," Sif interrupted, feeling that she could announce herself just fine without Volstagg's help. "And it's quite a pleasure to meet you, King Rogers."

Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun, and Sif all bowed in respect for the supposed king of New York and after they had risen up Steve returned the bow back, accepting their friendly gesture as a greeting. Thor's face was obscured in a huge smile and he clapped them all around the shoulders, feeling the tension had finally subsided enough to press on with their plans for Christmas and announcing that it was time to be seated for their prepared feast.

While they had all been going the through motions and introductions many of the servants brought in various platters with a wide range and assortment of food. They all gathered around the table to take their seats, eying the feast before them and laughing when Volstagg got carried away in a fantasy of eating it all. Steve didn't know him personally but he sure looked like he had quite the appetite and figured that most Asgardians were that way. Well... maybe not Loki. Then again Loki was half Jötunn.

Without any more words to be said all Asgardians seemed to attack the feast before them, sparing no objects that got in the way. Goblets were knocked over and food was perpetually flung across the room, leaving the servants with a bigger mess to clean up than necessary. Thor and Volstagg seemed to be in a battle over a Mutton leg, stretching across the width of the table pry it from the other's hands.

Sif and Fandral were treating the food the same way but not as extreme and Hogun was a little more reserved, trying to crawl underneath the others to get what he wanted. Loki was just watching it all unfold with an amused smirk, shaking his head at such predictability of Asgardians.

Steve cringed back in his chair and dodged whenever something was flung his way, heart racing inside his chest. He was sure someone was bound to get hurt if this went on any longer and Steve suddenly came to the conclusion that all Asgardians were bat shit crazy when it came to dinner, or any other meal of the day for that matter. Steve went into a mental fettle position as the chaos continued around him, closing his eyes and repeating the same mantra in his head over and over.

Hot chocolate and cuddles. Hot chocolate and cuddles. Hot chocolate and cuddles.

Steve felt Loki's long fingers curl around his arm and he opened his eyes to see that it was all over, sighing slowly in relief. Every was settled down but when Steve cast a long gaze over the length of the table he realized it was left ravished and his plate was bare. Steve's shoulders were slumping in defeat. He was a big boy, why hadn't he joined in when they destroyed the table? He was just as strong as the rest of them and now he wasn't eating for his incompetence.

Loki tugged at Steve's sleeve and he looked over at the pale man expectantly, heart melting when Loki produced a plate from underneath the table. Loki gave him warm smile and set it down in front of him, leaning in to kiss Steve sweetly against the cheek before pulling back to wink at him. Steve blushed shyly and thanked the heavens that Loki was sweet enough save some of the dinner before it was annihilated.

"Welcome to Asgard," Loki giggled fondly, referring to the beastly spirits that was Thor and his friends.

And with that the Asgardian Christmas started.

Fandral and Hogun sang songs of old about the fierce warriors that came before them as everyone else clapped along, joining in when they saw fit. But Steve didn't sing along because he didn't the words, so he sat back a clapped by the side lines like an outcast. That wasn't to say that he wasn't enjoying himself but Steve felt a little left out, unknowing about Asgardian traditions.

But shortly after one of the songs Sif cast a scrutinizing gaze over at Steve, looking through him, and soon all eyes fell to the super human as if waiting for him to do something. The Warriors Three and Sif were looking at him like they were expecting him to do wow them, being the king of New York and all. Steve supposed that he'd have to prove himself. He just didn't know what they wanted from him.

"Perhaps the king of New York could sing us a song of his people?" Fandral posed, looking at Steve with a quirked brow.

"That's not a bad idea," Volstagg enthused boisterously, drinking deeply from his goblet.

"Well," Sif offered expectantly, causing Steve to look at her with hesitancy. "Go on then. Dazzle us, King Rogers."

Steve blushed and looked around the table at them all, including Loki who grinned wickedly, and started gushing out excuses not to. Saying that he couldn't possibly sing with a voice like his nor could he match the greatness of their ancestors but they were unphased and soon Thor and Sif were demanding that he sing or it would bring great shame to the house of Odin. So with that being said, Steve could't possibly refuse now.

"Well, I guess one song couldn't hurt," Steve blushed profusely, feeling put in the spot when he stood up for all of them.

Steve looked at Volstagg and Thor who were sporting excited little grins, waiting patiently for something new they've never heard before. Fandral was smirking and Sif and Hogun were sure that he'd drop his little charade soon, caving so he didn't have to sing for them. But Steve would be damned if he gave them the pleasure. So he sang the first Christmas carol that came to his head.

~We three kings of Orient are  
Bearing gifts we traverse afar.  
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,  
Following yonder star.

O star of wonder, star of night,  
Star with royal beauty bright,  
Westward leading, still proceeding,  
Guide us to thy perfect Light.

Born a king on Bethlehem's plain,  
Gold I bring to crown Him again,  
King forever, ceasing never  
Over us all to reign.

O star of wonder, star of night,  
Star with royal beauty bright,  
Westward leading, still proceeding, Guide us to thy perfect Light~

Steve didn't have the best singing voice but he wasn't terrible either, after all it was only a Christmas carol and anyone could sing those. He was impressed with his choice because it seemed appropriate for their culture and he was sure they'd appreciate it, and they did. He could see all their faces light up with wonder at such beautiful words and even Sif seemed pleased with it.

After he was done they all clapped and cheered with Loki batting his eyes by his side, looking far too seductive for his own good. Steve sat down awkwardly as he was praised by all, feeling Loki wrap himself around his arm cozily. They both stared eachother with an intense warm gaze and right then Steve knew he gave Loki one of the best presents ever. To be accepted by Loki's people.

"Thank you," Loki murmured against him, snuggling closer and not caring who saw it.

Loki could kiss him right now and let himself get lost in Steve's tender lips and strong arms, sighing into each touch that was bestowed upon his body. But they were still celebrating with Thor and his friends, it would be awfully rude to leave now. As much as both Steve and Loki wanted to retire to bed early they just couldn't abandon an Asgardian Christmas. Thor wouldn't allow it, especially for what was to come next.

It seems that singing and eating weren't the only things Asgardians did for Christmas. No. The next was tradition specifically for this little group and it was by far Thor's favorite. The servants were called in to clear the table and the Warriors Three rushed around to quicken the process, grabbing the effects needed for the next thing.

"Steve, there's something I forgot to tell you..." Loki began in a low whisper but he didn't get to finish when Thor's booming voice interrupted him.

"And now, my friends, it is time for the contest of consumption!" Thor announced with great valor, signaling the servants to come out with more goblets and a few barrels of some of the finest Asgardian Ale they could find.

It seems that the contest of consumption is all about who can drink the most before passing out and falling to the ground. No one has been able to beat Thor for the past three years running and any that was brave enough, or stupid enough, would take him on. While everything was being set up Steve looked at the scene unfolding incredulously, hoping that he wouldn't have to par take in such activities but he was wrong.

"As traditions go, the guest must face last year's champion in a head to head drinking competition," Hogun informed, seeming to address Steve without looking at him.

"Then it's settled," Fandral grinned. "Thor against Steve."

Steve's eyes grew wide. What else did he have to do just to prove himself?!

"I can't possibly..." Steve started, but never finished.

"Steve," Loki chided lowly as if he was begging. "This is a very old tradition and if you don't humor them they'll never forget it."

"Bad things happen when I get drunk, Loki. I'll make a fool of myself," Steve whispered with embarrassment flushing across his face.

"Don't worry," Loki smiled cupping Steve's face. "That's also a tradition."

**********************

Steve's head was swimming and it lolled from side to side against the big feathered bed he was currently passing out on. He doesn't remember what happened nor did he know how he got here, on this bed, in this room. It was completely quiet until the big wooden door to the room creaked open and Steve struggled to sit up on his own.

Footsteps hurried to his side and graceful hands with long fingers groped at Steve's shoulders, steading him with unseen strength. Loki. Steve knew those hands even in this muddled state and he automatically leaned into the touch, wanting to feel something familiar and secure in his drunken stupor. Why had he let himself get talked into a drinking competition with Thor.

"Mmmm..." Steve groaned deeply, eyes still closed. He wobbled slightly but luckily Loki was there to prop him up. Steve reached a hand up to caress the side of Loki's face, letting his thumb smooth over a prominent cheekbone. "There you are..."

Steve could feel Loki smile against his hand.

"There were some... 'things' I had to take care of," Loki said cryptically, accentuating the word things and if Steve wasn't too drunk he would've noticed it. "I'm sorry i kept you waiting."

"What happened anyway?" Steve asked groggily, rubbing at his eyes.

"You eventually agreed to Thor's challenge, obviously, and you were doing quite well until..."

"Oh, Christ, what?" Steve worried, snapping his eyes open for the first time. And he didn't like what he saw.

"Well..." Loki smiled nervously, "by the time you two finished the second barrel of Ale, Thor gave up and you sort've smashed your goblet and asked for another."

"Is that all?" Steve asked incredulously, turning pink.

"You also punched Fandral," Loki giggled softly. "And you destroyed a statue and you threw up in a fountain. But they aren't mad," Loki reassured quickly, putting a hand to Steve's chest. "They quite liked it. It'll be a Christmas they'll always remember."

"Oh no!" Steve whined, slapping a hand to his forehead and cringing as if he was in pain. "That's the last thing I want."

"At least you won," Loki offered hopefully. "No one has ever defeated the mighty Thor," Loki said mockingly.

Loki kneeled on the bed to curl an arm around the width of Steve's back, cradling the strong man against his chest. Steve's arms came around to encircle Loki's thin body, grabbing him up and plopping back against the mattress. Loki gasped in startled surprise, grinning as he snuggled in closer, putting a hand on Steve's chest. Steve's been waiting for this all night.

"I guess I did win," Steve replied slyly, pressing a kiss to Loki's temple. "And, hngh..." He groaned in displeasure, folding slightly in on himself.

"What's wrong?" Loki gushed.

"I don't feel too good..."

"Here," Loki began, getting up from the bed to rifle through his drawer and producing a small vile. He sat down on the bed and made Steve sit up before handing the vile to him. "This ought to perk you up."

And it did just that. As soon as the blue liquid hit his lips his head became more clear and he no longer felt like he was going to pass out. Whatever Loki gave him seemed to sober him up completely and he even felt a little more energized as well. Steve handed it back to him to set on his nightstand before dragging him down in a kiss.

Their lips touched and it was like Steve was drunk all over again, head spinning and body tingling with his nerves coming alive with excitement. Loki was pulled into Steve's lap, bracing his hands on the headboard that Steve's back was pressed up against. He moaned into the kiss and grinded down onto Steve's crotch, drawing out a gasp from the bigger man. Loki grinned that wicked, wicked grin he always seemed to have on his face.

Steve would know the real reason why Loki smiled like that if he had been paying attention.

Loki was doing a great job at distracting Steve from the bigger picture by grinding and kissing and biting his neck. And after awhile of this, they started clawing eachother's clothes away, wanting skin on skin contact instead of having all those irritating garments in the way. Hairs prickled along their bodies and then they were chest to chest.

Steve's cock was flush against Loki's backside and the lithe man rubbed shamelessly against it, moaning obscenely into Steve's mouth and knowing just how much it turned him on. Loki was a wicked little thing and didn't mind putting on a show or exploiting hidden pleasures. With all the moaning and gasps and lustful exchange of words, Steve couldn't hear the other person entering the room or padding over to the bed.

But when the mattress dipped and groaned from supporting the weight of a third party, Steve's eyes shut open in an instant. Steve didn't know who to expect and Thor was definitely the last person on the list. Of all people to walk in and think it was alright to join in with him and Loki, it was Thor. Loki's brother. And Loki seemed to already know that Thor would show up which unsettled Steve.

There was a moment of stillness, no breathing, no moving, just silence and eyes flickering around with hooded passion and uncertainty. Then Thor was crawling up behind Loki in predatory glee, only stopping when he raised up on his knees to press a kiss to Loki's neck, keeping eye contact with Steve the whole time. Loki sighed while licking his lips, eyes closing in pleasure just from the brush of lips and scrap of stubble alone.

It was so wrong and Loki looked so blissed out that Steve didn't know whether to be furious or turned on from the sight of the brothers engaged in such an intimate tableaux. Thor bit down on the spot he had kissed and Loki's breath hitched with excited surprise, rubbing down onto Steve in turn and Steve realized that he was still hard. He was still hot and aroused, if not even more, and he couldn't be more disgusted with himself.

They were brothers for Christ sakes and Loki was HIS boyfriend. Why was he letting this happen? Because in all reality, Steve didn't care. If anything he was glad that this had happened and when Loki's eyes opened once more he knew what he wanted. Steve wanted to make Loki scream while he and Thor fucked him within an inch of his life and then some. His cock pulsed at the thought and the bead of precome that followed after was smeared into Loki's skin.

Steve leaned forward to claim Loki's lips in a heated and feral kiss, pushing Loki's slender back into Thor's strong chest in the process. Their tongues collided in swirls, mixing their saliva between their joined mouths. Thor had already been naked and when he pressed in closer to Loki's back his cock had started to rub against his ass as well. There was a point when Steve's and Thor's cocks slid against eachother, making both men moan throatily.

Loki pulled away sharply and let out loud shaky moan, face creasing in unbridled pleasure as he sat further back. Steve peeked over Loki's shoulder to see that Thor was working three fingers into his brother's entrance and if that didn't turn Steve on he had to be crazy. Steve was sure he'd come from the sight alone but thankfully he didn't. That would just add to the list of embarrassing things that had happened to him tonight.

Loki started riding Thor's fingers in an up and down motion, moaning softly as he was stretched open for their impending threesome. Steve could only watch as Loki got off between him and Thor like some animal in heat, relishing the display before him with unwavering eyes. Steve reached out and started stroking Loki's cock, making the addition of fingers and jacking ten times more pleasurable. Loki's hands gripped onto Steve's shoulders as if silently telling him to stop and he did.

Steve stilled his hand and Thor gave a short nod to him over Loki's shoulder, signaling that Loki was ready to be taken by both him and Steve. Thor handed over a vile that was half empty and Steve figured it had to be some form of oil to ease their way into Loki's body. Steve poured a good amount into his palm, tossing the vile away as he started to spread it over his erect cock. He figured Thor had already done so and without further adieu, Steve positioned himself at Loki's slick and prepared entrance.

"Go on then. Fuck me," Loki demanded in a harsh whisper, eyes burning with green desire, silently challenging Steve. "Take me right here in front of my brother."

Steve didn't need to be told twice and he was pushing in just as fast as he was given the invitation. If this was what Loki wanted, this is what Loki would get. If he got off on having both him and his brother at the same time, so be it. Who was Steve to deny or judge? Loki's hips pushed back against Steve's cock, forcing the super soldier into his tight passage in one go. Loki might not have been the toughest fighter but when it came to sex he was quite persistent. He could handle pain. Loki got off on it.

Steve was dizzy already from the tight squeeze around his cock and Loki's inhuman moaning was just too much. His heart was racing and felt like it'd jump out of his chest at any moment, pumping blood into his ears and to his cock. Before Steve had time to calm down or slow his breath there was an added pressure pushing against Loki's resistance and Steve knew what was happening.

Thor was gripping his own cock, trying to push into Loki's body despite Steve already being inside him and it made Loki's face screw up into a mix of unbearable pain and undeniable pleasure. Painful because he was currently having two cocks shoved inside his tight channel but pleasurable because he was fucking not only Steve but also his brother. Loki's cock was still hard and never wavered even when he screamed out in agony as Thor pushed further inside him.

Steve had to hand it to Loki... He could take a lot of punishment.

It was a struggle at first but when Loki started to relax more and stifle his screams into Steve's shoulder, Thor slid in inch by inch, joining Steve's cock inside of his brother's body. The pressure from Loki's channel and Thor's heavy cock pressed against his was unbelievably euphoric and almost on the side of painful but he knew it was nothing compared to what Loki was feeling right now. Steve had never felt another cock pressing against his while inside of a warm body before and it was something he wouldn't mind doing again if Loki wanted to.

"Ahhh! You filthy bastard," Loki sneered with a smile as he looked back at his brother, wincing when he tried moving his hips a little. "Can't believe how long I've been wanting to fuck both of you at once."

There was another experimenting adjustment of hips and Loki hissed under his breath but he'd be damned if he let a little pain destroy his chance at making a fantasy become reality. He was going to fuck both Steve and Thor whether he was comfortable enough or not. Loki raised up slightly, as much as he could before wincing, and dropped back down over both cocks, making Steve and Thor groan from the clustered friction.

With each attempt Loki loosened up more and became more brave, venturing on to not only ride but to rotate his hips up and down Thor's and Steve's cocks. Steve claimed Loki's mouth and Thor busied himself by sucking bruising kisses into the pale skin set before him like the feast earlier. Loki was caught between their strong and sweaty bodies, working his tight entrance up and down the lengths of their cocks. Loki could feel both of their pulses and Steve could feel Thor's as the warm vice clenched around them.

Thor was getting close already and when Steve started lightly thrusting up into Loki he lost it even more, pulling away from Loki's neck to let out a satisfied growl of raw animal lust. He was being pushed over the edge by Loki and Steve's combined motions, body constricting with his impending orgasm. Each squeeze, thrust, and pulse went noticed and soon all three men were mewling out obscenities that fell against sweat slick bodies.

Loki's thighs started to tremble from the pleasure, strain, and pain and if he didn't reach his zenith soon he was sure he'd start cramping up all over.

"Come inside me," he told both men, then addressing Steve directly. "Touch me, please. Fuck it out of me, Steve."

Steve's hand wrapped around Loki's cock in an instant and became a blur, making Loki convulse violently whilst letting out a deep moan. Loki shook with the intensity of his orgasm as he came all over Steve's stomach, painting that perfectly sculpted body with white streaks of come. Loki's body went slack, leaving it to Steve and Thor to finish the job themselves, which wasn't that much of a strain.

Thor's hands gripped Loki's hips and Steve's closed around his in turn, both men locking eyes at the contact and feeling something else altogether. Steve leaned forward over Loki's shoulder and he kissed Thor hungrily, savoring the forbidden moment as all their bodies became one living organism. Steve wasn't clear on the rules but he figured there were none, so he continued to kiss Thor as he thrusted into Loki's pliant body.

Steve's cock surged and they were both done for. Both of their men pulsed and exploded inside of Loki's passage, making it more slick and letting their cocks slide against eachother more fluidly to draw out the pleasure. Loki endured like he always did and he made little sounds of discomfort when his brother and boyfriend pulled out, feeling the mixture of both men's come flowing freely out of his stretched entrance. Loki was sure he wouldn't be able to sit right for a week.

Loki slouched against Steve's body, heart beating far to fast, and sighed into his ear as his brother held him with strong arms. They were all content and sated and each one of them knew that this wouldn't the last time they did this either. Loki closed his eyes in exhaustion, planting a kiss to Steve's shoulder and murmuring before falling asleep.

"Merry Christmas, my king."


End file.
